OMG OMG OH MY GOODNESS!!!

Ok so I just got back from work out and I am SO SOSOSOSOSOSOSO Excited and happy!!!! so a week ago I weighed 188.5 ish and I got weighed again today and I have lost 4.4 lbs!!!! I currently weight 184.1! YAY! i am going to be honest and admit that yesterday, during fast sunday I prayed to have sucess with my weightloss. I am so happy and so blessed that the Lord listens to my prayers and wants me to sucseed! I know I have along way to go but this is the big start to the beginning to a very long year. I also noticed that I am having more energy to do the day to day activities, such as walking to class or climbing the the stairs to my appartment. I worked out with my dear friend Beth at the beginning and I was compleatly winded when my heart was beating 134 beats per/min today I was working on the stairstepper and my heart was around 165 and I wasn't dizzy or anything! I guess what dad always says is true, that I don't have a heart problem, im just fat. I have been so blessed to have so many good friends and support systems during this difficult time for me. I love you <3

oh and obama is a girly man lol

Let the games begin!

So I have been to two workouts with my trainer so far, and OMGOSH!! My legs are killing me! I also had to make a promise that I wouldn't use the elevators. which just might kill me. I make it attempt to ride all the elevators on campus! lol. i'm learning that I have muscles that I never knew I had! the thing that I feel that has helped me the most is listening to my music as I work out. I listen to Linkin Park, System of a Down, Seether, Slipnot, Metallica so the rock favorites, then I also listen to Chirs Brown, Keshia, Katy Perry, and glee! these kinds of music help me to stay light on my feet, and keep moving forward! The greatest think though is that I know how to stretch so my roomies often find my strattled to stretch my sore muscles. So I have also been attending my counciling appts and a big part of what we talk about is viewing myself with the self worth that I deserve. My entire life I have always had self image problems, thinking to myself that other people just view me as a fat, ugly, whore. I have to constantly tell myself that it doesn't matter what other people think, but its what on the inside that is important but when you are so desperate to just feel loved and accepted for who I am. I worry about guys a lot, worry about making myself look like a fool in front of them. Worry that all guys just want sex and the only way to get a guy to love me is to have sex. JUST SO EVERYBODY KNOWS, I HAVE NOT HAD SEX. But still....